just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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