Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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