I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
