Where is the hickey?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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