dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
