There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
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Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The power of my boobs compel you
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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