Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize