Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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