Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
