I hate all girls vehemently.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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