you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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