i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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