i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
