You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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