Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
