weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
