Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
