so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
