Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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