Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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