He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
