Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I got inside last night via doggy door
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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