did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
there is puke in my bra ... again
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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