We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
