...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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