Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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