I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
