I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
