the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
