youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
