I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Bring me that man meat
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
