You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
