there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
