Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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