I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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