why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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