I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
