How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
