Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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