Your dad touched me again.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
