I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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