They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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