i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
