it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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