If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
