all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
