I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
