What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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