i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize