Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
