did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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