wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
