Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
