Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
