Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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