lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
